Thanksgiving and Loss

My plan for today was to sit down and write a post about our Thanksgiving at the U.S. Embassy Residence, about the food, people, and home we enjoyed. 

But now I put my fingers to these keys, not to record the events of that day, but to process through the event of this day. 

Today I give thanks for the life and mourn the loss of my Aunt Barbie. 

A week before we moved I was blessed with the chance to spend the day with Aunt Barb. I am forever grateful. My mom, Barb, and I drove around Wisconsin together, spending much of our time in the car talking. I got to pray with her. I told her how much I appreciated her support in my life and how she has shaped who I am. I got to tell her about how my cousins, siblings, and I look up to her, about how we want to be like her and live with the attitude, faith, and servant heart that she lived with. 

She told me, "we've had some good times together, haven't we sister?" 

Barbie's light has covered people and this world with the beauty and peace of how she lived her life. And with that, though her physical presence is gone, her beautiful, peaceful light will always be here. 

So I am thankful. 

Thankful for the comfort and love she gave my teenage mom. 

Thankful for the week I spent in the same cabin as Aunt Barb at summer camp. 

Thankful for her smiles and hugs. 

Thankful for her demonstrations of faith.

Thankful for her gathering of us girl cousins to connect and instill our worth.

Thankful for the hospitality that Dan & I were shown when we stopped by for a visit with her and my Uncle Dan, only to be served snacks and lunch over our five hour stay.

Thankful for her cheering us onward. 

Thankful for the light she let shine, driving away darkness.

Thankful for the joy, wholeness of body, and awe she is experiencing.

I'm sad that I will not be home to attend the funeral, remember her with family, hold my mom's hand, give hugs to cousins... My heart is thousands of miles away.